I know exactly when it happened. The day I became a real, big-time Dallas Hater. I was 11 months old, sitting on my mom’s lap wearing a onesie that read, “This is your brain [Redskins helmet]. This is your brain on drugs [Cowboys star].” I knew from then on that to get anywhere in life I had to be a Dallas Hater.
I’ll be the first to admit I started this season with an uneasy feeling that the Cowboys, unfathomably dubbed America’s Team, would be good this year — maybe even Super Bowl-bound. This had nothing to do with their roster or the fact that Tony Romo wears that gay fedora in every single press conference. My suspicion stemmed from the Kardashian Bang Theory, or KBT if you will.
Let’s face it — odds are pretty good that when you bang a Kardashian your team will start playing better and winning championships. Case in point:
Reggie Bush: Long-time banger of Kim Kardashian; 2010 Super Bowl champ w/ the Saints
Lamar Odom: Bangs/marries Khloe Kardashian; back-to-back NBA champ w/ the Lakers
Miles Austin: Current banger of Kim Kardashian; TBD