Houston’s Furriest Mascots

Photo via Sofia van der Dys at Sculpt Pilates and Fitness

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS AN OFFSEASON FOR MASCOTS. And we quickly learned there is no such thing as a normal day in the life of Houston’s favorite and furriest mascots. It’s been eight years since we last sat down with Clutch, Orbit , Toro and Diesel, so we decided to meet them at the gym for a quick sweat sesh…

HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN A MILE?

Clutch: 7:30.

Toro: Fast enough.

Diesel: How fast can you make a spicy maple tea bread, provolone, brie, basil pesto sandwich?

Orbit: I don’t like running.

HOW MUCH CAN YOU BENCH?

Clutch: Only 185.

Toro: How much does a defensive tackle weigh?

Diesel: Orbit after he eats a lunar ton.

Orbit: A lunar ton – it’s funny because it’s space.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WITH THE TEAM?

Clutch: 20 years.

Toro: 14 years.

Diesel: 7 years and 10 months.

Orbit: I was around from 1990–1999, but took a 13-year sabbatical back in space. I’m back for good, and entering my third year back.

WHAT DO YOU EAT WHEN YOU’RE CARB-LOADING?

Clutch: Delicious steak. Sorry, Toro!

Toro: BBQ chicken and stadium food. Definitely not beef!

Diesel: Spicy maple tea bread, with brie cheese, a slice of provolone topped with two pounds of basil pesto…and steak.

Orbit: I’d crush some hotdogs. And moon pies.

WHAT DO YOU DO TO STAY IN SHAPE?

Clutch: Run and box.

Toro: Swing and rappel from the top rope of NRG Stadium.

Diesel: Stay away from steamrollers.

Orbit: Round IS a shape.

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE WORKOUT BUDDY ON YOUR TEAM?

Clutch: D-Mo – that guy is a beast. And I mean a real beast like me!

Toro: JJ Watt – since JJ and I have somewhat the same physique, we work out together.

Diesel: Brad Davis, because he is the only one left on the team that hasn’t asked me what I say.

Orbit: Altuve – we just give each other piggyback rides to train.

FAVORITE PLACE TO RUN IN HOUSTON?

Clutch: Memorial Park.

Toro: With our fans at the Running of the Bulls event.

Diesel: 29.751332 latitude, -95.352623 longitude.

Orbit: The stairs at Minute Maid Park.

This article originally ran in the print issue of Local Houston Magazine’s March 2015 issue – their first ever sports issue. For the online version, click here.