March 2010 - The Blonde Side

Illustration by April Guzick

We all start baseball season as loyal, excited fans with the highest of hopes. Kind of like a virgin on prom night. You never know what’s going to happen, but boy you’re hoping for the best and you’re prepared, condom and all.

As Astros fans in recent years, the leading up to baseball season has been THE peak of excitement for us because lets face it – the truth hurts – it’s always downhill from there folks. And so we ask the same question Peter Gammons, John Kruk, Eric Young, Buster Olney and many other MLB analysts have asked; what’s in store for this year’s team of Good Guys?

We’ve resigned to the unfortunate fact that after the first couple of home stands the team starts to show their less than tolerable true colors quickly followed by a less than packed ballpark, a decline in hotdog and beer sales (the beer part is debatable) and “fans” resorting to using those 9 innings as a texting/facebook tirade or making business deals on their newest oil rigs. Baseball and the hunt for October are forgotten early on…but how long are we supposed to go on like this?

Illustration by April Guzick

Let’s get this out of the way – I’m a girl AND I love sports. If you’re a girl you’re probably feeling the urge to call me a traitor and if you’re a guy you’re more than likely seemingly amused thinking, “what the hell does a chick know about sports?”

Probably more than you think.

But in all honesty, I don’t claim to know it all nor do I want to. When it comes to sports, I have one thing most girls lack…interest. My interest doesn’t stem from trying to impress guys or from a super inflated tomboyish obsession gone awry. To aid in my sports proficiency (and I say this in jest) I’ve got one of those television thingys to actually watch games (I’m a chick with an HDTV without the HD service, don’t judge), the Internet to keep up with trending topics, and my good ole boys at 1560 The Game as I see fit.

Not only do I love sports, but I know sports. Not in a Pam ‘I may actually be a man’ Ward kind of way, but in a Jayme ‘I grew up playing and watching sports and my dad really wanted a son’ Lamm kind of way. I know I don’t owe you my sports resume, but in case you doubt my dexterity to write on such a topic let me plead my case. I played softball in college (save the standard stereotypical lesbian jokes for another day). I know how to throw a perfect spiral (remember, by dad always wanted a boy). I’ve worked for the Miami Dolphins, for an advertising agency handling a number of professional sports teams, and relocated to Houston to do marketing for the Astros. So I know sports. How to play. How to watch. And most importantly how to comment and judge when things don’t go my way.

Tom Hanks said it best…”There’s no crying in baseball”

Hello Houston. (and newest class of bandwagon fans)