The NFL has been a staple in my life longer than My Little Ponies. Seriously. And for better or worse I tend to dwell on comparing people. I’ve been known to compare myself to my boyfriend’s exes a time or two, and it’s not a pretty site. For anyone. I’m also a big fan of train wrecks. Especially those involving Ed Hardy and other tight glittered dragon ensembles in the form of a t-shirt.

And so begins my eloquent segue comparing today’s NFL Quarterbacks to the crusty cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore (for fun, and because of my extreme dislike for the Dallas Cowboys, I’ve also made a Tony Romo parallel for each):

Pauly D. – The DJ infinitely known for his “blow out” and mass amounts of gel products. When you think of hair in the NFL, two guys should come to mind: head and shoulders spokesman Troy Polamalu of the Steelers and Patriots Quarterback, Tom Brady. Pauly D. is about as non-controversial as you can get in the shore house. He seems to be that guy everyone likes – even stalks. Tom Brady fits that to a t. He’s the ultra cool guy on the field, good passer rating (111.00 last season), great hair, and a smoking hot wife. Most people are fans of Pauly D. and Tom Brady – or at least wish they were friends with them.

Pauly D. has a tanning bed in his house. That he brags about. Talk about the douchebag meter running at ultra high levels. “Douchebag meter running at ultra high levels” should be the urban dictionary definition of Tony Romo.

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