Life Coach: Sessions 2 & 3

Being thankful is a powerful thing

What if it was OK to just be thankful for what you’re thankful for?

That’s how my third session with my life coach (Sally) started. Sally started by asking me a tough question – what do you like about yourself and what do you value? 

That should not have been a tough question, right? But sadly, it was. I’m not sure if that’s tough for other people to answer like it was for me, but I think I had so many small things I liked about myself and not one giant thing, that they all seemed minuscule and kind of embarrassing and not worth mentioning.

Since I literally work with words for a living, the semantics of the word value always throws me off. But something I have always prided myself on is being thankful and saying it as much as possible.

For instance, in my line of work, someone stepping out and offering to help by proofreading my work, or introducing others in the industry to me, or brainstorming ideas is pretty rare. A few people off the top of my head that have done that and stood out are Will Carroll, Arash Markazi, Megan Brown and Baxter Holmes (he’s the most recent). These are all badasses that have made a name for themselves in the sports and/or media world and get nothing out of helping me out, but they do.

Just the simple forward of an email or media contact or an encouraging word via Twitter is really all it takes, so I try my best to say thank you to them because it’s important to me. I want them to know that they’ve gone above and beyond what others have done. Even a newbie in the industry like Mattie-Lou Chandler has thrown some advice my way. Saying thank you has always been important to me and writing handwritten thank you cards (branded ones of course!) is something I value and pride myself on.

It’s weird, but I do the same thing with guys I date. If a guy does something even remotely nice (which in most people’s world is something simple like kissing your forehead or opening a door), I make a point to say “that was sweet.” It might sound cheesy, but I’m not used to guys doing nice things for me, so I want to make a point to show how much I do appreciate it.

Anyways, back to the actual life coaching part – when I told Sally that was something I liked about myself, I quickly dismissed it, as if it was stupid. How is saying “thank you” something you value or like about yourself? Of course she told me that I judge myself too harshly and that gratitude and thankfulness is something that helps our psyche and well-being and I shouldn’t dismiss it. Until this conversation I hadn’t realized that gratitude is a value.

The definition of gratitude is: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

The top two definitions of value are: 

1. the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.
2. a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.

At the end of our session, Sally challenged me by asking where am I satisfied in my life and dissatisfied. Again, those are things I don’t know the answers to, but I’ve got to mull them over and figure it out. I know I wish I was a wealthy freelancer (do those even exist) and that my memoir was published and that I was in a healthy and loving relationship with a hot man…does that count for anything?

What do you value or like about yourself? I’d love to hear them, especially if they are even small things that you might dismiss.

One of the recurring points I’ve had in my conversations with Sally is that there are things I know I want in my life and attributes I want others to associate with me, but how do you get there? What things do you add to your life or what do you take away to be the ultimate best version of yourself? That’s what I’m here to figure out. Check out Sally’s life coaching website here and stay tuned for the rest of our sessions over the next two months. Clearly I have a lot more to work on, but don’t we all?