“Biggio’s” with a Killer “B”

Craig Biggio | Illustration by German Arellano

Craig Biggio | Illustration by German Arellano

Retirement from the game doesn’t always mean retirement from the sport or the community. Although he hung up his jersey back in 2007, Hall of Famer CRAIG BIGGIO still finds his life very much wrapped up in Major League Baseball™ as a special assistant to JEFF LUHNOW, the Astros’ General Manager. In fact, the baseball legend says his life is busier now than when he was playing.

The seven-time All-Star is leading a very busy life, especially with his kids (starting college, new jobs and getting drafted), and most recently committed his name to a brand new, two-level premium sports bar to be named Biggio’s in the Marriott Marquis Houston, opening later this year.

As for his recent Hall of Fame status, Biggio says that, of course, is the highest accolade he could have dreamed. “I was the first guy to go in as an Astro. We’ve had a lot of great players in Houston and to be the guy to go in the Hall of Fame is exciting. It’s really more exciting to share it with everybody because it’s the only team I ever played for. I was loyal and dedicated to the Houston Astros organization, to the city and the community … it’s fun because we all did it together,” Biggio says of his admiration of Houston fans. Biggio is just the 49th Hall of Fame inductee who spent his entire career with one team, so to say he’s a permanent fixture in Houston’s sports landscape would be an understatement.

“I love the fans. I’ve made Houston my home – I’ve lived here for close to 30 years – and to do something like this with Marriott is an exciting opportunity to be with the fans and part of revitalizing that [downtown] area,” he says. Downtown Houston has been restored and revitalized bit by bit for the past few years, but with the upcoming Super Bowl (February 2017), the construction and additions are on fast-forward mode. As for his involvement with the new sports bar, Biggio says he’s up for creating a signature dish, still to be determined though. He said it’s also not far off base to say that fans can see him there from time to time. “I’ll be there as much as I can. The Astros are right next door so it’s very convenient and close,” he adds, hinting that this could be a new pre- and post-game spot for baseball fans. The former player also admits he’s excited for the timing of this new project, just in time for the visitors that Super Bowl LI will bring in. “I want [visitors] to see what Houston has to offer, which is a lot. Houston is a fun town – the restaurants, night life, shopping, sporting events – especially where you have the Rockets, Astros and Dynamo all within a quarter mile. I want people to come and enjoy the city and really see what Houston, Texas, is all about,” he says.

Biggio is the only player in baseball history with at least 3,000 hits, 600 doubles, 400 stolen bases and 250home runs. We think he’s earned a sports bar with his name on it.

This article originally ran in the August 2016 print issue of Local Houston Magazine, in the sports section. 

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Team Rubicon and Colby Rasmus

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Photography by Kirk Jackson and Dana Braverman

Photography by Kirk Jackson and Dana Braverman

“DISASTERS ARE OUR BUSINESS. VETERANS ARE OUR PASSION.”

Meet Team Rubicon

Houston is no stranger to some great philanthropic groups, but one of the latest ones we learned about (thanks to Houston Astros outfielder COLBY RASMUS) is Team Rubicon.

Team Rubicon is the only nonprofit disaster response organization that repurposes the skills of military veterans, uniting their skills and experiences with first responders to rapidly deploy emergency response teams. The organization is currently coordinating alongside local agencies to respond to the ongoing Houston floods as well as the earthquake in Ecuador, among other issues throughout the world. Recently Team Rubicon served Houston, Harris County, Wharton County and other surrounding communi- ties during Operation Moonshot, which was launched in response to the severe flooding the area experienced this spring. From April 23 – May 15, 150 Team Rubicon volunteers from across the country deployed to Texas to serve those affected by the severe weather. The team in Houston logged more than 10,000 volunteer hours (valued at $285,000), and assisted with damage assessments, debris removal, muck out and chainsaw oper- ations, plus volunteer management. All at no charge. But Houston isn’t the only place Team Rubicon is making a huge impact. Since their founding in 2010, Team Rubicon has deployed over 120 disaster response operations around the world. The organization currently maintains a growing roster of 35,000 volunteer members who are ready to deploy, at any given moment, wherever they are needed. (Follow the ticker on their homepage to see their current operations, which are updated regularly.)

But back to Colby Rasmus. Earlier this year, the outfielder known for his outrageous clubhouse celebrations, launched Hitters for Heroes. For every home run he hits this season, Rasmus is donating one thousand dollars to Team Rubicon. Add that to your list of reasons to cheer on Rasmus to homer.

“These men and women have sacrificed so much in the name of our coun- try, and I am honored to help make a difference in their lives while simul- taneously supporting the community of Houston,” Rasmus told Team Rubicon back in April.

But the sports-tie for Team Rubicon goes beyond Rasmus. Co-founder JAKE WOOD recently shared his story from playing football at Wisconsin, to join- ing the Marines, and then onto founding Team Rubicon, a story that was shared with ESPN last month.

Additionally, the University of Texas Longhorn football team worked side by side with Team Rubicon during the Wimberley recovery operation in 2016, and members of the Oklahoma Thunder visited with Team Rubicon during the response to the Moore, Oklahoma tornado in 2013, Team Rubicon explained. Wood and fellow co-founder WILLIAM MCNULTY founded Team Rubicon as a way to continue to give back and serve when their time in uniform had ended. Team Rubicon promotes veteran reintegration and bridges the gap between military and civilian life, which statistics show is not an easy task.

Rasmus hit a career high of 29 home runs last year, so fingers crossed he continues to make an impact on the field and with Team Rubicon.

To learn more, visit teamrubiconusa.org.

(This article originally ran in the July 2016 print issue of LOCAL Houston Magazine. Click here for the online version.)

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MMP: It’s Getting Hot in Here

Minute Maid Park, photo courtesy Houston Astros

Minute Maid Park, photo courtesy Houston Astros

MINUTE MAID PARK: IT’S GETTING HOT IN HERE

The month of April marked the HOUSTON ASTROS’ hottest start (15–7) since 1986. But the team isn’t the only thing off to a hot start, so are our blazing hot temperatures. Hello, summer.

Baseball’s meant to be played outside – unless of course it’s the middle of June where temperatures average 91 degrees here in Houston. Nothing is meant to be outside because it’s too hot. Air-conditioned baseball may be different than the way many remember America’s pastime, but the luxury isn’t just for players, it’s for the fans too. The average length of a MLB game in 2014 lasted 3:02.That’s a long time to be sitting in the heat trying to rally behind your team.

Luckily, Houston is just one of a few cities that blesses their baseball fans (and team) with the luxury of a roof and airconditioning. There are a lot of factors that go into the decision to open the roof for a game, including heat index, humidity, inclement weather and wind. The roof has weather sensors, and if the wind is blowing at certain strength or direction, the roof can’t be moved. The team says the main objective is providing the most comfortable environment for fans. Throughout the calendar year, the roof is opened approximately 160 times. Like all things in life, you’ll never be able to please everyone. Some fans love having the roof open and practically demand it as a quintessential part of the game, while others only attend when the luxury of air conditioning is present. The roof is always a game-time decision and is a group effort in the front office including input from the Senior VP of Business Operations, VP of Stadium Operations, Senior Director of Major League Field Operations and others.

MINUTE MAID PARK is known for beautifully showcasing downtown Houston in all its glory. Luckily, the roof retracts completely off the park with 50,000sf of glass in the west wall to allow fans a glimpse of the spectacular downtown views, whether open or closed. But the roof isn’t only beneficial just for games. On May 4, the roof made history being used as shade during batting practice (via Mike Acosta who runs @AstrosTalk). The roof is powered by mechanized panels, which open and close in 13 minutes. In an average year, the roof travels 14.6 miles – probably the same as Orbit, everyone’s favorite mascot.

Before you plan your next Astros outing, check #RoofStatus on Twitter to see if the roof will be open or closed. Hint: It’s June, so likely to be closed every game.

“OUR FANS LOVE THE FRESH AIR AND VIEWS AS LONG AS IT’S NOT TOO UNCOMFORTABLE WITH HEAT AND HUMIDITY. HAVING A RETRACTABLE ROOF GIVES US A LOT OF FLEXIBILITY AND IS A GREAT INVESTMENT FOR OUR CITY.” – Jeff Luhnow, General Manager of the Houston AstrosASTROS

HOT EvENTS IN JUNE
JUNE 12 AND 13: “Celebrate Dad” weekend
JUNE 14: Father’s Day annual Picnic in the Park fundraising event
For more info, visit www.Astros.com.

This article originally ran in the print issue of Local Houston Magazine (the June issue). Click here to see the online version.

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Astros Collin McHugh

Collin McHugh - more than just a pitcher. (Photo courtesy of Houston Astros)

Collin McHugh – more than just a pitcher. (Photo courtesy of Houston Astros)

A MAN OF MANY TALENTS

Astros starter Collin McHugh once joked he was “the dumb jock of the family.” But he’s much more than a jock, and certainly far from dumb. The 27-year-old finds himself in the starting pitching rotation for the ASTROS, but still finds time to pen his own blog and even play a few instruments. Music is more of a family gene than baseball, he admits. McHugh’s brother and sister (Evan and Eryn) are songwriters in Nashville, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t dabble in music a little himself. One thing he packs on road trips? His ukulele.

Jayme: So your brother and sister are into music?

Collin: Both are songwriters. My brother does more of the acoustic, full key stuff and my sister writes with a bunch of different people – she does a lot in Nashville. I grew up playing instruments, enjoying music and ended up doing this (baseball)…

J: Do you play any instruments or have a good voice?

C: I played clarinet growing up. Once I got into high school I started playing a little saxophone and then drums. I picked up guitar and recently started playing the ukulele. It’s a nice little travel instrument for me.

J: What do your teammates say about that?

C: I don’t know – it’s a mix batch. Some guys see it and they’re like, ‘What is that – I don’t even know what that is!’

J: I’m not sure I know what a ukulele is.

C: It’s kind of a Hawaiian island string instrument – basically a little guitar.

J: Does it help you relax?

C: Yeah, I think for me anything that can take my mind off of baseball does. It’s something I’ve been doing for a long time – I’ve been playing instruments before I was playing baseball so it goes back a long way. It’s something I’m passionate about. Whenever I get a chance to play with other guys, to pick around at the guitar, it’s a good time.

J: Favorite music?

C: I’m probably more into toned down stuff. I enjoy a lot of types of music. I’m from Atlanta and there’s a big hip-hop influence in Atlanta so obviously I really like hip-hop and R&B. It’s hard to beat Outkast (they represent Atlanta). Outkast, T.I. and Drake. Other than that probably some singer/songwriter stuff I grew up listening to like Bryan Adams and Jeff Buckley. Let’s just say I like good music – hard rock is tough unless I’m in the weight room.

J: Have you checked out any Houston venues?

C: Last year I saw Ingrid Michaelson at House of Blues. I think Sufjan Stevens is playing on one of our off days – I’m going to try and see them.

J: If you could hang with any musician – dead or alive?

C: Probably Jeff Buckley – he’s kind of a freak. His voice is incredible, he’s a great musician, son of Tim Buckley and music is in his blood. I’d just sit and pick his brain. Obviously he’s not around anymore so it’s tough; he was in the prime of his career.

J: If you could only listen to one Pandora station the rest of the season?

C: That’s a good question! Right now I would have to say I am into the new Purity Ring album – it’s so good. I’d probably put it on that and rock out – it’s pretty solid.

Check out McHugh’s blog where he talks about life and baseball – www.adayolderadaywiser.com

This article originally ran in the May 2015 print issue (the music issue) of Local Houston Magazine. Click here to see the online version, or go roam around Houston and snag your free copy!

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Minute Maid Park: Baseball Gameday Guide

Minute Maid Park: Baseball Gameday Guide (photo: Getty Images)

Minute Maid Park: Baseball Gameday Guide
(photo: Getty Images)

Maximize your baseball experience with our guide to what to do before a Houston Astros game, where to eat at the stadium and things to do nearby after the game.

Welcome to Minute Maid Park

Minute Maid Park (also known as “The Juice Box”), home of the Houston Astros, is located in downtown Houston, the fourth largest city in the country. The ballpark has had disappointing attendance records for a few years now, and as a result, ticket prices are usually very inexpensive.

The stadium itself has a distinctive boxy, modern look that sets it apart from other ballparks. A large white retractable roof that’s crisscrossed with blue support beams keeps fans cool and dry on hot or rainy days, then retreats back to open everything up when the weather’s nice. Although it’s nothing like the former ballpark, the Astrodome (nicknamed the Eighth Wonder of the World) it’s still an impressive place to catch a game.

City sports fans are pretty familiar with the area around Minute Maid Park—the neighborhood is also home to the Toyota Center (Houston Rockets) and BBVA Compass (Houston Dynamo). But overall it’s not a very exciting pregame setting; the downtown Houston business crowd tends to disappear right at 5 p.m. There’s also quite a bit of construction going on across from the ballpark as METRORail expands to a new station a block away. (Currently, the closest stop is six blocks away, at Preston Station.)

There are a handful of bars within a few blocks of MMP, including the B.U.S., Home Plate, Lucky’s Pub and Little Woodrow’s. But since there isn’t too much around the stadium before the game, many fans opt to save their energy (and money) for the festivities, food and fandom inside the ballpark.

 QUICK LINKS

This Astros Baseball Gameday Guide originally appeared on Mapquest. Click here to see the original article including links, special tips, quotes from super fans and much more.

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Top 10 Ways the Astros Can Improve in 2014

(Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)


(Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)

It’s old news to talk about what the Astros need to improve on this season. They’ve already hit triple digits in the loss column yet again (so applause?), so the only rational thing to do is focus on the off-season and 2014, right?

Right.

But in all seriousness… At the Major League level, the Astros don’t have much to brag about, but those young, fresh faces in the farm system, the ones people have been talking about for years, those are the ones the Astros are going to have to pay heavy attention to this off-season and in Kissimmee at training camp. Three #1 picks in three years has got to pay off eventually.

Of course pitching is where it hurts the most for Houston. It wasn’t that long ago that the ‘Stros relied on the arms of Roy Oswalt, Wandy Rodriguez, and even Bud Norris.

The Astros are in need of, once again, a reliable and consistent pitching rotation. To be effective, Houston needs three pitchers that can consistently go 6-7 strong innings every game. Currently there isn’t even one in an Astros uniform. That shouldn’t be on your Wish List, but rather your Must-Have-To-Stay-In-The-League List. Or as @JohnReyes2013 on Twitter says, “sign an inning eating veteran.”

To date, Astros pitchers have walked 49 more batters than every other single MLB team and currently rank 30th (dead last) in the Win-Loss column and ERA. (The Cleveland Indians have the second most walks, in case you’re wondering.)

The days of the Biggio’s and Bagwell’s serving as leaders for the rookies are long gone, but the Astros need to cash in on some cheap veterans to help the team in pretty much every area, especially mentoring these younger guys.

If you’ve ever had a need to believe in a slogan, the Astros current one would be it: It’s a Whole New Ballgame. For Astros fans, lets hope that holds true in just six months.

Here is The Blonde Side’s Top 10 List for what the Astros can do to make their team better in 2014…

10. Get new players
9. Pray
8. Hope other teams get worse
7. Go down to Triple A baseball
6. Better yet, go back to the National League
5. Even better, go back to 2005
4. Switch dugouts – clearly the stats heavily favor the other side. The Astros switched leagues, is a dugout swap really that far fetched?
3. No players taller than 5’4 on the roster (clearly it’s working for Jose Altuve)
2. Hire Joel Osteen as a motivational speaker
1. Add JJ Watt to the roster – he seems to make everything in Texas better

And a special thanks to my friends at the game earlier this week for helping me compile such a titillating Top 10 list.

Agree with what I had to say or think I’m the biggest, blondest idiot on the interwebs? Head over to my facebook page and tell me more. (Try to at least be polite though?)

This piece was part of The Blonde Side’s sports column on CBS Man Cave Daily. Click here to see the original article on their awesome website.

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The Astros Suck

AP Photo/Keith Srakocic

AP Photo/Keith Srakocic

How do the Astros suck? Let me count the ways…

So I’ve come to the conclusion that the ladies from A League of Their Own could beat the hell out of the Houston Astros right now, which, yes, very much means that MADONNA could beat the ASTROS.

1. Drayton McLane – Drayton is like baggage in a relationship. You start dating someone new and soon find out they are a mess and can’t seem to move past what the last girl or guy did to them. It’s exhausting and a waste of time, but it’s just life. That is Drayton. He is “just life” for the Houston Astros.

2. Pitching – The Astros pitching staff is giving up home runs like it’s BP. Or the Home Run Derby. Who cares which? The Astros have the absolute worst ERA in baseball at 4.83 – that’s 0.91 higher than the MLB average. When it comes to home runs given up, the Astros are the second worst, having given up 117 already this season. I’m not Brad Pitt and this ain’t Moneyball, but those numbers don’t look good.

3. Who? The Astros roster feels a bit like speed dating. They aren’t interesting or “good enough” to catch your eye, so why even remember their names? A few years ago you’d see a jersey with a player’s name on the back and stop for a minute wondering if that was a big player from before your time, or maybe the guy’s last name he wanted custom stitched on his jersey? Welcome to 2013 at Minute Maid folks – none of us have any clue who our players are on the roster. You could probably make up a name and no one would be the wiser. Seriously, try it and see what happens.

4. The fallacy that everything is bigger in Texas. Clearly this doesn’t apply to the Astros unless we’re debating the loss column (currently 33-61). For starters, our payroll is not bigger. We spent so much money buying Carlos Lee Whataburger the past five years, and now we’re spent. Houston’s Opening Day Payroll was a lousy $24,328,539.  That’s $15mil less than the 29th smallest payroll of the Miami Marlins. There are at least three players, NOT TEAMS, that make more than the entire Astros payroll: A-Rod ($28m), Cliff Lee ($25.5.m) and CC Sabathia ($25m). And back to my A League of Their Own reference, that means that yes, Marla Hooch is bigger than Jose Altuve.

I’m not the best at math, but clearly there’s some sort of discrepancy there, yes?

Oops

Oops

5. The business inside Minute Maid. I guess it makes sense we can’t pay our players, we can’t even sell our outfield sponsorships, which many sports-biz related websites and an abundance of tweets have so kindly and pointed out. That’s what happens when your team sucks, people start to divert their attention elsewhere, like the snocones in the bathrooms or the glaring white space on the outfield wall where sponsors used to clamor to spend their millions for prime logo placement. Those days are long gone folks.

6. Where’s Waldo? There isn’t enough time to go over the dramatic happenings of the farm system, but where is all this good talent the Astros are drafting? The Astros take great pride in their draft picks (as they should), but why aren’t they bringing up those players who are excelling? Look what happened when we brought up Cosart recently only giving up two hits in eight innings of work? Or what about George Springer who’s still in Triple-A (.315 AVG, 26 HR, 72 RBI in AA & AAA combined) (17 games in AAA: .404 AVG, 7 HR, 17 RBU). The saying goes like this – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

So that doesn’t apply here.

7. Fans. I heard this joke last night: What song do Houston Astros fans sing before the bottom of the ninth inning? A: Nobody knows. There’s never any of them left. Boom. It’s funny because it’s true.  I know that there are some hardcore and loyal fans out there. I know this because I’m friends with a few and the other few pretty much hate me on Twitter, so I hear you. You exist. But for the most part, you can’t be found anywhere within the confines of Minute Maid Park, or at a sports bar, or wearing the jerseys or supporting the team in any capacity.

I’m going to keep going here, so you can keep counting if you’d like…

–       Six losing streaks of 5 or more games this season

–       Errors: 69 (most in MLB)

–       Runs Scored: 351 (3rd worst)

–       Bat Avg: .235 (3rd worst…Yanks and Marlins worse)

–       Home Attendance: 18,271/gm (3rd worst…TB and Miami)

–       Overall Home & Road Attendance: 23,678 (2nd worst)

–       Average Age: 27.1 (2nd youngest: Miami 26.8)

A few jokes, just for fun…

Q: Whats the difference between the Houston Astros and a mosquito?

A: A mosquito stops sucking.

Q: What do the Houston Astros manager and Alex Trebek have in common?

A: Both of their jobs are in Jeopardy.

Click here for more “Astros Suck” jokes (some highly inappropriate).

So just how much do the Astros suck? You tell me…

This piece was part of The Blonde Side’s new sports segment airing on FOX26 Houston, Sports Uncensored.

*Thanks to The Blonde Side’s research assistant Adam Sahmel for the stats/figures in this piece and on air.

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The Blonde Side's legroom at Astros Game

10 Advantages of an Astros Game over an NBA Finals Game

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The Blonde Side's legroom at Astros Game

The Blonde Side’s legroom at Astros Game

In a short span of 24 hours I went from the raging and intoxicating excitement of Game 5 of the NBA Finals in San Antonio to a Monday night Astros game in Houston. Let that sink in for a minute. That’s like driving a Bugatti and then having to hitchhike.

Rather than going the negative route, which I often do with the Astros, I figured I’d play Positive Peggy and list some of the benefits of such a dismal turnout at Minute Maid Park – things that were a bit more difficult at AT&T Center just the night before were a piece of red velvet cake last night. Fervent yawning aside, even on a four-game win streak for the Astros, there were some advantages to having the 1,263,240 square-foot ballpark all to yourself and just a few close friends.

10 Benefits of Attending an Astros Game you won’t find at the NBA Finals

10. Free Tickets. Having worked for the Astros years ago, it’s not terribly hard to get free tickets, but walking up to Minute Maid Park last night, people were practically begging you to take tickets off their hands. And good seats too. (Opposed to the $650 ticket price for Game 5.)

9. Free and Easy Parking. Yup, just like the Dierks Bentley song. No need to arrive early to sit in traffic and be on the lookout for a spot, and no need to try and “beat the crowd” upon exiting, unless of course you’re just that bored, which is understandable.

8. Cell Phones. What was impossible the night before, took just seconds last night. We were able to post photos to Facebook and download that new Taylor Swift album with ease, as opposed to the FAILED message I got trying to upload an Instagram photo the night before that subsequently drained my entire battery.

Also, please note the difference in comments received. At Game 5 they were along the lines of “OMG, so jealous, I love your life, I wish I was there!” At the Astros game they were more like “Wow, you must be bored” or “Wouldn’t you rather be watching hockey or catching up on sleep?”

7. Leg Room. Stretch out and relax, this isn’t a United flight and there’s no one in front of you to make it awkward to prop your feet up.

6. Team Store. Want an Astros shirt? No problem! They have them in EVERY SINGLE SIZE (as opposed to Game 5 where there were slim pickins’).

5. Upgraded Seats. At MMP, there’s no need to wait for the StubHub Move of the Game for better seats, just get up, act like you belong, and go sit behind homeplate. Bring all your friends too, because there will be open seats all around you.

4. Discounted Beer. I’ve gone to more games than I can count in my lifetime and have never been offered a discounted beer. The Aramark beer vendors were so bored the guy in our section offered us a $7.50 Bud Light for $5. #Winning

3. No Lines. Not for bathrooms, beer or food. And probably not to go on the field and shake the players’ hands either, but I’m just guessing there. At Game 5 you’d miss at least 5 flops per team just by trying to use the restroom.

“Wow, that is so much more than I ever asked to hear about plushies.”

2. Conversations with Orbit. Although “Mascot Rules” indicate a professional mascot cannot speak while in costume, the furry guy was so bored he hung out snapping photos and being silly. Although the downside was he hung out a little too long and started to creep everyone out, even the children.

1. Social Media Contests. Every stadium runs social media contests for fan involvement to promote their sponsors. Last night, the video board (the largest in MLB, mind you), ran a contest for Wich Wich asking fans to tag #Strowich on Twitter to win some ham and cheese concoction. Seven minutes after the contest ran on the board, just ONE fan used the hashtag. ONE. Even better, she just used the hashtag and said nothing else. Congrats on your new sandwich Astros fan and I’m sure Wich Wich is throughout impressed with their ROI on that promotion.

For you number folks: I realize the baseball outing was just one of 81 regular season games at home and the other was an NBA Finals game, but there were 18,581 in attendance at the Spurs/Heat game (of a total capacity of 18,591) and only 13,870 (if you buy those numbers) in attendance at the Astros/White Sox game (of a total capacity of 40,950).

To see this original article on The Blonde Side’s CBS Man Cave Daily column, click here.

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Getting Burned by Minor League Baseball

Ted Batchelor, The Human Fireball (photo via Batchelor)

Getting Burned by Minor League Baseball

As a kid, did you ever think you wanted to grow up to be a firefighter? What about a doctor or astronaut or professional baseball player? What about setting yourself on fire? Well that’s what Ted Batchelor knew he wanted to do from early on after some prompting and daring from his high school buddies.

Saturday night, the Sugar Land Skeeters, an Independent Atlantic League Team with growing notoriety thanks to the recent signing of Roger Clemens, hosted Ted Batchelor, otherwise known as the “human fireball” at Constellation Field to add to the growing list of infamous minor league gimmicks.

Immediately following their shut-out win over the Long Island Ducks in front of 7,463 fans, Ted took his talents on the field, where fans watched him get doused in fuel and run the bases, where they watched in awe, some in horror. Having never been “on fire in Texas,” Batchelor was excited for this first. He has recently set out on a goal to be on fire in all 50 states. “This experience will be how I remember Sugar Land and the Skeeters,” Batchelor said. “I’ve only completed about 15 states, so hopefully more Minor League Ball Clubs start calling.”

How does one get started lighting himself on fire as a career?

The Chagrin Falls’ native says it’s quite simple. “One day in highschool I had a pretty typical dream, diving off waterfalls – something I’ve done since I was 10. This time I have the same dream except I’m on fire. Then I woke up and went to my creative writing class in school and wrote a poem about it. In the dream people bet me to do all kinds of stuff, like set myself on fire. People are always betting me to do random things like getting hit by cars, rolling down stairs, anything really. I was at a party and someone read my poem and bet me $400 to light myself on fire and jump into the falls. The next week was prom and I really needed the money to take this girl, so I did it. That was 36 years ago (May 20, 1976), and the rest is history,” Batchelor says.

Although he got the girl, these daredevil-like stunts landed him in jail a time or two. Perhaps part of the reason Batchelor doesn’t just market himself as a “human fireball” but rather a “Professional Stunt Man and Performer.” And teams are taking notice, like Tom Gorman, Executive Producer for the Sugar Land Skeeters. “ I found the Human Fireball off Ben’s Biz Blog on milb.com. I saw he was trying to run the bases while on fire in all 50 states. This being our first year in Sugar Land, I wanted to show the fans what makes minor league baseball different from other sports, and acts like Teds’ is what separates us from the rest. We like acts that are fun, unique, and entertaining. We’re always looking for new ways to entertain and engage fans…and an act like Ted’s is one of those ways,” Gorman says.

Having been on fire nearly 200 times and setting two Guinness World Records (longest distance run while on fire – 492ft, and the record for most people on fire which broke the Spanish record of 12 by doing 17), Batchelor has somehow perfected the art of lighting himself on fire and it goes a little something like this:

Based on his idea from when he was 18, one of his crew members (or fans) has a ball on the mound. Batchelor, standing at home, catches the ball and bursts into flames and runs the bases. “It’s a simple stunt, yet it’s dangerous,” he admits. His team shows up at the ballpark, gets dressed, and walks out onto the field along side their equipment (extinguisher, fire blankets). “Once I catch it, it’s go-time,” Batchelor laughs.

As he touches each base, each one lights on fire, then fuel from a fuel gun gets added to him (this is the part his wife used to participate in until it felt “weird” for both of them). As he rounds third, he does a headfirst slide into homeplate where his crew puts him out. The whole stunt takes about 50 seconds.

Part of his “crew” includes his wife, which he deems an “integral part of this whole thing.” “She actually dresses me and puts all the fuel on me (it’s a lot of fuel) and puts me out,” Batchelor says.

Batchelor used to hold another world record for the longest burn ever, but that was recently broken. “They are wearing helmets and fireproof suits and all that stuff,” Batchelor quickly dismisses. “My suits are really simple and meant to burn. When you’re on fire, that’s just it – YOU’RE ON FIRE,” he explains.

“We do these stunts a lot, but we’re nervous every single time – believe me. With that much fuel, you have to be. After a successful show we may have a couple beers, usually Jack Daniels makes an appearance,” he says of his own post-game routine.

On a lighter note, Batchelor insists no matter what life his stunts take on, he’s “totally normal.” “I just have this thing that I do and a lot of people don’t understand it, until they see it and they realize it’s a professional stunt, not some crazy person doing this wildly. There’s a big difference between the two. I still respect fire as all people should,” he says.

He has a wife, children, a day job as a project manager for a painting company in Cleveland, and yes, even health insurance – normal indeed.

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AP Photo | David J. Phillip

Clemens’ Debut With Skeeters

AP Photo | David J. Phillip

AP Photo | David J. Phillip

Sugar Land Skeeters fans are no stranger to sellout crowds, long bathroom lines, or parking in far-flung dirt lots. Fifty out of the 52 home games played at the $37 million Constellation Field, just a 25-minute drive from downtown Houston, have been sellouts.

What’s new to them, however, is tickets exceeding $200 (according to StubHub, 33 of them eclipsed that mark) or the national media coverage. But that comes with the territory when Roger Clemens, a 50-year-old seven-time Cy Young Award winner, is making his Skeeters debut, five years after his last appearance on the mound with the New York Yankees.

To read the full article on Clemens’ debut with the Skeeters, visit ESPN Playbook.

Follow The Blonde Side on Twitter: @jaymelamm and @ESPNPlaybook.

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