I’m pretty sure I have a super power. It may not be a super power many consider actually useful, but it’s a colorful super power I’m proud of nonetheless.

Are you ready to hear my super power? I see colors in gameday mode. Seriously, that was it. That’s my super power.

It’s happened a million times. I’ll be shopping with a friend and she’ll see this maroon’ish Alternative Apparel maxi dress (pictured bottom right) and think it’s the perfect dress for her upcoming cruise, but you know what I see? A Florida State gameday dress that can be paired with either gold wedges, flats or flip-flops with the final addition of an arrow flash tattoo or two and some other gold jewelry and boom – you’re FSU gameday ready. (Which trust me, is WAY better than a cruise anyways.)

I can look at an awesome royal blue seamless tank top and think, “This is perfect for a Kansas City Royals game” and call it a day. But once you add orange anywhere into the equation, then I hate it because it looks like a Florida Gator vomited on it and all of a sudden it’s ugly. Seriously, you see regular colors, I see gameday colors. I suppose it’s both a blessing and a curse.

So now that I’ve clarified my personal super power, it’s time to get something off my surgically enhanced chest. I fully respect many (my apologies not all) fashion bloggers out there, but I’ve noticed an increased number of “gameday fashion guides” and “tailgate trends” and I find them ridiculously misleading and inaccurate.

There is a reason I don’t blog about child carseats. You know what that reason is? BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE A CHILD, NOR A CARSEAT. And if you’re looking for pros and cons on particular carseats and you take my advice, YOU ARE AN IDIOT. Not to mention now I’m terrified for your soon-to-be-child.

But you know what you probably should come to me for advice on? Considering I’ve gotten up at the butt-crack of dawn for a 6a NFL tailgate (multiple times) and stood out there in blistering 105 degree temperatures drinking Bud Light all day, scarfing down various meats on sticks, using port-o-potties and throwing perfect spirals to friends in the parking lots, I think I’m pretty well versed in what to wear and what not to wear to a tailgate. So the silly little fashion blogger who says Christian Louboutins are the perfect gameday shoe for Texans games and tailgates (you know, simply because they have red on the bottom) is an idiot and so is the fashionista saying a $700 burnt orange cashmere sweater should help you kick of Longhorn Football IN AUGUST. Just like the above parent looking to me for carseats.

You can put all the thought in the world into a tank top and skinny jeans with wedges for a game at Lambeau in the middle of December, but guess what, you will actually die of frostbite. As in death. Either that, or your big ugly puffer jacket will cover your entire “well-thought out” outfit anyway, so you’re better off sticking with a green and yellow hat or headband or scarf to show your pride. You’re better off sticking with someone who has gone to a game at Lambeau in December.

I have sat courtside for an NBA All-Star game, so I can promise you that the little fashion guide that tells you to don a leather miniskirt with a low-cut tucked in gray tank for a Brooklyn Nets game will be HYSTERICAL (not to mention dangerous) when a player dives for to keep the ball from going out of bounds and knocks you and your leather mini back a few rows. It’s not practical. And you and your Britney will end up on national TV. (If you click the link for “Britney,” note it’s the second definition I am referring to.)

I will say all my time spent in gameday apparel, at tailgates and on the courts and fields has caused me to step up my fashion game a little, but I will still always be practical. If I’m on the Club Level meeting with potential sponsors, I may decide on a pair of comfortable wedges, or if I’m running around the tailgates passing out koozies and signs for The Blonde Side, I will more than likely be wearing appropriately colored Chucks.

Note: I have bought many non-practical gameday color-inspired items I’d never wear to a game, but still allows me to show my team pride at an event. I’ve even worn a dark green cocktail dress with black heels to a wedding, because those “friends” were mean enough to have their wedding on a Sunday during the season. I didn’t think a Junk Food Eagles tank would have been appropriate, so it was my only other option. And you better believe each and everytime someone complimented my dress, I gave an Eagles score update.

End rant.

Now it’s your turn: what bothers you about these gameday trends or fashion posts? What have you seen at a game that you’ve just absolutely loved or hated?