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Texans Legs

Add another body part to Texans 2013 problems: legs

While I have no empirical evidence to back this up, I’d be willing to say more people have quoted the infamous “Houston we have a problem,” line this NFL season referring to the Houston Texans as a whole than the entire combined four decades since the saying first debuted during the Apollo 13 mission.

How many ways are the Texans having problems? Gee, let me count the ways. Turning away from the recent issues we’ve been having with quarterback arms and coaches play calls, now we’re focused on the legs. Three missed field goals in Sunday night’s loss to Indy has been much of the talk this week. It feels like the freaking hokey pokey going on at Reliant, putting the left arm in and the right leg in and all those other injured and non-functioning parts in between.

It was such a refreshing and welcome change to see the youngster Case Keenum chucking those balls in the first half to Andre, we all almost thought for 30 minutes, this is it – we’re baaaack. But then Randy Bullock missed from the 49, 43 and 55 (which could have tied the game) and is only 13 for 21 this season, failing in four attempts from the 50 and beyond. You know, the actual opposite of the definition of clutch, which is what the Texans have needed a few times throughout this six-game stretch of losses. A win against Indy could have possibly, maybe, sort of, brought back a glimmer of hope for this season.

Mr. Bullock is on pace to miss as many field goals this season as our last two kickers Rackers and Graham combined to miss in their three seasons with the Texans: 16. And the Texans put a lot of stock in Bullock, grabbing him in the fifth round of the 2012 draft.

Nothing smells of desperation quite like inviting a guy (Justin Medlock) who got cut from Raiders training camp to take over as kicker, or at least try to.

Sure, seven points are better than three, but points are points. We need to get them on the board however we can, plain and simple.

And there is some Matt Schaub and Randy Bullock comparison – they both seem to be lacking confidence and our team, for one reason or another, seems to keep putting them in these positions where it’s harder and harder to gain that confidence. If you’re looking to me for the answer, I don’t have one, I just feel there’s a bit of a comparison there and wanted to bring it up.

Great game for Keenum but a tough loss yet again

There are only eight guys this season to have attempted four or more FG from the 50 and beyond, according to ESPN, including Bullock, so obviously it’s not an easy task or one offenses find an optimal spot to put their kicker in. To put it in perspective, Bullock actually shows up on the second page of field goal stats over at ESPN.

And I say this as an individual having never played professional football (yay for obvious statements), but this Arian Foster injury thing is getting old. Older than Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan rotating jail cells news. Tate played with BROKEN RIBS – yes, broken ribs. Could that be the difference between a running back having already signed a big contract and a running back hoping to sign one? Who knows, but I do know one thing – seeing one of our top offensive guys continually hobbling into the locker room or sitting on the sideline surely isn’t helping this team, a team that surely needs help.

I won’t sit here and try to pretend there’s hope for this season, but I do love this quote from Wade Phillips after Sunday’s loss to Indy: “We signed up for the whole season, to play and to work and to coach as hard as we can coach. And that’s what we’re going to do with this team. Anybody that wants to give up can, but we’re not going to.”

So the “whole season” that Phillips speaks of continues Sunday in Arizona against the 4-4 Cardinals, where yours truly will be sitting midfield, hoping to catch a glimmer of something I miss so desperately: good and winning football. If we can have more of the first half we saw with Case and Andre from last week, I’ll be a happy camper. I think…at least until next week.

And if you’re looking for a super feel good story in the midst of the bullying issues all over the NFL, check out this video of an amazing group of middle school kids, taking a knee, in an effort to help another amazing kid with learning disabilities:

“Nothing can ever explain getting a touchdown if you’ve never had one before.” – If you don’t get goosebumps and the urge to do good on your own from watching this 3-minute clip (especially at the 2:48 marker where one of the kids tears up at the realization of the power of this simple touchdown), you may want to verify you are in fact human. For serious.

November 7, 2013/by Jayme

Notes from San Fran

Football

Texans fans in San Fran (my blonde hair to the left!)

I don’t mean to beat a dead horse and talk about the exact same thing everyone who has ever watched football has been hammering on about for weeks, but WE MUST: Matt Schaub.

I actually do feel bad for Matt Schaub at this point in the game. I still agree he gets paid a good deal of dough to throw the ball to his own teammates, but I see these “fans” continue to rip him apart and it’s downright disturbing. I was at the game on Sunday in San Francisco and as much as I try to forget seeing that poor performance live, there were a few things I noticed. Perhaps you noticed this on TV, but if not, here are my observations:

When Schaub threw his fourth consecutive pick-six (it actually hurts to say that), the TV cameras were probably first pointed at the un-intended receiver, Tramaine Brock, but my eyes were glued on Schaub, mostly due to disbelief. His face said it all. You could see his “are you serious” look through his helmet. I’m not a football player, I have no idea if someone ran the wrong route or something was off, but Schaub was shocked. We were shocked. Y’all were shocked. Didn’t “we” just spend the last seven days working on exactly that same situation to avoid exactly the same costly mistake?

As Schaub reluctantly trotted off the field, he went directly to Kubiak. Who knows what aggressive words came out of his mouth or what he was asking, but Kubiak’s reaction is what I’m slightly floored about: he smiled. The Texans quarterback, with a guaranteed salary of $24.75 million, just threw his fourth pick-six in four straight games, and you smile? Why aren’t you pissed and shocked and upset like all the other 4 million Houstonians? Throw something, yell, make your face get all red and your veins pop out.

Do something.

I know Kubiak reacted in his own Kubiak way, but maybe that’s a bigger issue. Kubiak has spent the past week addressing the media assuring everyone they are working HARD to avoid those mistakes, and you come out of those dirty San Franciscan gates and do the exact same thing. And then you smile?

This is how the game started

And yes, there is a large part of me that feels for Schaub. Houston is being brutal to the guy, and it goes well beyond the field and burning jerseys. They have now resorted to blasting his family about his play (as if that has anything to do with it). A friend of mine was sitting next to Schaub’s mom at the San Fran game and she cried the second he threw that pick-six. She knows how hard this is on her son. She knows the mental demons he was dealing with prior to that fateful throw are only going to get worse. She knows his career is in jeopardy.

At least she had a reaction, unlike Kubiak.

Another reaction after that pass? Andre Johnson.

Again, I don’t know what y’all saw on TV or to what extent the commentators were privy to the situation, but my seats were right there – first row, DIRECTLY behind the Texans bench. Number 80 was not a happy camper and he wasn’t afraid to show it. I don’t think he could even control it. He actually got in the face of WR Coach, Larry Kirksey, and honestly, it looked like he was going to fight him. I couldn’t catch it on video, but the crowd saw it and started chanting Andre, taunting him. I thought the entire Texans sideline was going to explode, some with tears, and some with anger and punches and foul language. And I wouldn’t have blamed a single one of them. This has been a hard few weeks for ALL of those guys.

After quite a few choice words, yelling and throwing things, Andre looked for a moment like he was going to take his jersey off, saying “I’m done.” It was a heated moment, the most heated I’ve ever seen from the Texans. The entire team was shocked. Again, at least he was reacting. Duane Brown and Wade Smith, two of my favorites, out there each and every offensive play trying to protect Schaub, and they clearly weren’t impressed coming off the field after that pick-six. They were reacting.

But you know who wasn’t reacting (aside from Kubiak)? Arian Foster.

Let me reiterate, I’m not an NFL player (duh), but I did play sports growing up. Hecklers get to you and turnovers change the tone of the game, quickly. But my coach would never let me take my eyes off the field and respond to hecklers in the stands. A few seats over sat six of the most obnoxious fans to ever wear a 49ers jersey, and they were giving it to Arian.

One guy, holding up his cell phone yelled “Hey Arian, I just dropped you on my fantasy team.”

Another guy, “Arian you suck!” in a loud and squeaky, yet to hit puberty, or maybe it was drunk, voice.

Before the Texans were even out of the game, Arian was responding back. His eyes were on the hecklers, not the game. His first response to those guys: “I’m rich” with a Johnny Manziel kind of hand motion.

This is how the game ended.

Yeah Foster, you are rich. From that game your back is turned to and has been turned to the entire game – that’s what made you rich. You worked hard for it, but it ain’t over. You got (and earned) that big contract, but it’s not quitting time buddy. It’s Week 5. The other 52 guys are at least watching the game in front of them, but not you.

Then, probably the most annoyed I’ve ever been at a player on the team I’m rooting for, Arian walks over to the side, grabs a sharpie, signs his gloves (which didn’t get much action that night) and handed them to the heckler.

Now I’m not sure what the gloves said – if it was a message saying, “I’m rich,” or some other actual message to the hater, I’m down and can respect that. But just a few seats over were at least five of the most crazed Texans fans that traveled to San Fran to support these guys, and they do it almost every week. Even during trying times, they are still cheering and trying to pick our boys up. But Arian didn’t ONCE look their direction. I’m not sure he made eye contact with a single Texans fan during the entire game, but those San Fran jackoffs got his attention, for at least an entire quarter.

Which is probably what prompted what happened at the end of the third quarter after another one of Schaub’s completed passes to the other team (I’m going to start calling it that instead of an interception…), two Texans fans took off their shirts, AND THREW THEM AT THE TEXANS PLAYERS ON THE SIDELINE. (Then the dumbasses had to leave the stadium shirtless, and I’m not sure they thought that part through fully.)

Texans fans, I get it. Watching that in person, on TV, on a mobile app, whatever, it wasn’t pretty. But to disrespect your own team and those players that are working hard is embarrassing to the real fans. And to an entire city.

For those who traveled and spent all that money, what a bum note to go out on. But here’s the positive: there’s no place like home. After visiting the decrepit and dirty Candlestick Park, I know I’m ready to kiss Reliant’s grass and hug every real Texan fan in the stadium.

Next up is St. Louis. We got this. There’s no way this team can lose four straight, right?

Let’s talk Texans, Schaub, Kubiak, heckling fans, whatever else you want on The Blonde Side’s FB page.

This blog post is part of The Blonde Side’s Bud Light Series. Be sure to LIKE Bud Light Houston on FB to keep up with all the fun things in Houston, here we go!

October 8, 2013/by Jayme

Texans Fans = Needy Girlfriends

Football

Andre Johnson of the Houston Texans.

The Houston Texans are good at quite a few things, one of which is staying relatively off the radar. There isn’t a ton of news going on in Houston’s offseason, the drama is fairly minimal (especially when paired next to Tom Brady’s team), and the stars shine just quite enough to get sufficient, but not overwhelming attention.

Training camp is the hottest in the league, but the guys are there to work hard, that’s it. But a quiet offseason leaves room for a lot of unanswered questions by the fans and the rest of the NFL.

Texans fans are now needy girlfriends when it comes to their beloved team. They’ve won the division title two straight years – it’s time to up the ante and get that engagement ring (also known as a trip to MetLife Stadium in February).

This football season has been dubbed by virtually everyone as the all-or-nothing season for the Texans. It’s like taking your girlfriend on a romantic vacation to Bora Bora – you better end that vacation on one knee and be ready to take your relationship to the next level.

Do or die. Marry me or I freak out. Super Bowl or bust.

Crazed Texans fans are ready for a ring (photo via Chron.com)

For the Texans to get on that bended knee (aka get to the Super Bowl for those not following my ongoing analogies), there are a few things we must settle:

1. The Secondary. The Texans are slated to take on a ton of elite QBs this year – Manning, now in his second and stronger season after neck surgery, the always impressive Brady, Andrew Luck who is no longer a rookie, not to mention other new big names like Russell Wilson and the hot-bodied Colin Kapernick.

Last season the Texans were just 16^th against the pass giving up an average of 225.8 yards/game. That’s right in the middle of the pack, neither great, nor bad.

If you dated a girl that was just average, does that scream engagement ring to you? I think not…

Is Ed Reed’s hip OK to play?

2. Injuries. I hate talking about them, but they’re a big deal for any team. Star safety Ed Reed is still battling his hip injury (which he blames Tom Brady for), Foster isn’t currently taking reps, the status on Posey remains unknown and others are popping up.

“That’s part of football, so we’ll get them healthy and get them back out here,” Kubiak said after practice Wednesday afternoon.

Can the rest of this team stay healthy? This is single-handedly one of the most annoying things sports media folks talk about incessantly, and here I am talking about it. Awesome.

With 52 guys on a roster, and 300+lb men slamming their hard bodies into other 300+lb men, it’s inevitable injuries are going to happen. A lot. When guys are bobbing and weaving at unfathomable speeds and jumping over bodies, helmets, and cleats, odds are, someone’s going to get hurt. Probably a lot of someone’s, unfortunately.

3. Along with injuries come detailed conversations of the depth chart – that’s a big concern for Houston – do we have the depth to take over when our starters find themselves in the locker room getting looked at by medical personnel?

In relationships, backups and second strings aren’t looked at very fondly, but this is football and it’s all part of the game. (Seriously, never tell your girlfriend you have a backup though.)

4. Then comes the Schaub inquisition. Can he lead this all-star team the way they need to be led on the field? His numbers are fairly average, coming in 11^th with a passer rating of 90.7 and throwing for 4,008 yards last season.

Last season, Schaub tied for 15th in touchdown passes (22) while ranking sixth in completion percentage (64.3), throwing just 12 picks in 544 passes.

5. We all know Texas is a conservative state, but that doesn’t mean our football has to be. Nor should it be.

Conservative play-caller Gary Kubiak

Kubiak needs to move on from his conservative play calls, especially when it comes to 3^rd and long, where the Texans are tied for 31^st at converting to first downs.

For a more intense look at the Texans 3^rd and extra long play calls, take a look at this Ultimate Texans article.

It seems we may get some answers to quite a few of these nagging questions in Week 3 when the Texans take on the defending champions in Baltimore. Until then, it’s all speculation.

Make no mistake, this is a championship roster. More so than it’s ever been.

There’s just one thing missing from this relationship: an intimate postseason.

For those inquiring minds, Super Bowl odds for Houston are currently 14/1 according to the LVH Sports Book in Vegas.

Oh, and if the Texans do make the Super Bowl this year (which yours truly is in fact predicting), that would make them the first Texas football team to vie for the Tiffany & Co. Vince Lombardi trophy in 18 years.

August 28, 2013/by Jayme