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Tag Archive for: NBA

Dwight Misses Again

Basketball
Something tells me Superman could make his free-throws

Something tells me Superman could make his free-throws

Dwight Howard has 88 million reasons to make a free throw. He has 88 million reasons to be consistent. He has 88 million reasons to prove the haters wrong.

Bleacher Report just did a funny piece on the topic of the two things Dwight Howard is awful at: free throws and media questions. Ha, lucky us.

Howard’s answer for his poor free throwing shooting is that we talk about it too much. But in the game of basketball, there aren’t many gimmes. There aren’t many free points. A right-handed layup, that’s a gimme. Heck, in the pros any layup is a gimme. Any time you’re in the paint without a defender up in your face, that’s a gimme. Anytime you play the Jazz, that’s a gimme. 99% of the time Dwight touches the ball, that’s a gimme. Anytime you’ve been in the league for nearly a decade where the free throw line has remained a constant, that’s a gimme. If you’re shooting from a point on the court known as the “charity stripe,” that alone should tell you IT’S A GIMME.

But it’s not just Houston where Howard is sucking it up. Dwight has never really been any good at those free buckets at the line, not hitting more than 50% since the 2010-11 season. There’s this thing about sports – when teams spot your weakness, like in the Astros case where everything seems to be a weakness, they exploit them. It seems to reason if the Astros can’t hit a fastball if their lives depended on it, would you throw them a curveball followed by a slider?

Um, no.

The same rule applies here to Howard – if the big guy can’t sink a free throw when the pressure’s on, why not foul him all day and all night? And it seems to be working, especially down the stretch.

When it comes to free throws, Dwight is the exact opposite of our mascot. Get it? Clutch.

To date, Howard leads the league in free throws. Obviously not ones being made, but attempted shots, so far at 87.

In the much-anticipated Lakers game where Dwight greeted his old teammate buddies on his new home court, they sent him to the line 12 times just in the fourth quarter alone. For those not so good at math, that would have been 12 much-needed points in the fourth quarter, instead Dwight nailed only five. And isn’t that weird? The Rockets lost by one point that night. One.

According to NBA.com Dwight is only hitting 47.1% of his free throws, his second (30.8) and fourth (41.4) quarters

Dwight Howard having trouble from the charity stripe

Dwight Howard having trouble from the charity stripe

averaging the lowest.

And all this talk about how good Dwight is at making free throws in practice really doesn’t matter. I was good during Driver’s Ed, but my awful driving record is pretty much what matters at this point, does it not? My car insurance doesn’t calculate my insanely high rates based on how good I was when I practiced.

I don’t think “Hey officer, I was driving really good and legal until you started watching me,” would suffice as an answer the way Dwight thinks he can tell us the cameras and the lights and the pressure are getting to him. But again, like I always say – I’m not a 6-foot-11 professional basketball player or three-time defensive player of the year…But the point remains, I’m a terrible driver when it counts, as is he a terrible free throw shooter.

The $88 million you signed to come to Houston is meant to account for all that pressure and those cameras and the media and the criticism your bound to take by being a beast of your size and your nature. That’s coddling money for you buddy. And Dwight, if the pressure is getting to you already, perhaps take a page out of Matt Schaub’s book – it isn’t going to get any better until you do. That’s the cold hard truth in Houston and anywhere else.

Not that you should put much stock in Wikipedia, but if you look up “free throws” it even calls Dwight out as “a notoriously poor free throw shooter.” Wikipedia had 450 players to choose from this year alone, let alone the thousands of greats and poors over decades of play, and they cited Dwight as one of the worst. Well, if being one of the worst pays $88 million, put me in coach.

Let me be clear in saying Dwight Howard’s inconsistent free throw shooting isn’t the only inconsistent play the Rockets are experiencing at this point, like never knowing exactly which Patrick Beverley or Jeremy Lin you’re going to get come game time – the team really needs to step it up and win those easy games, and those easy “charity stripe” points.

They’re a pretty high contender this year and I for one want to see a team perform at least as expected this year.

November 14, 2013/by Jayme
https://theblondeside.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/dwight-howard-houston-rockets-1.jpg 490 560 Jayme https://theblondeside.com//wp-content/uploads/2018/06/1526998321020-300x192.png Jayme2013-11-14 10:29:202013-11-19 10:35:14Dwight Misses Again

A Disgruntled Heat Fan’s Observations From Game 5 in San Antonio

Basketball

San Antonio, first of all, congrats on your successful blackout. Wait, nevermind.

Let me back up and start with this – I am in fact a disgruntled Miami Heat fan (not to be confused with a bandwagon disgruntled Heat fan), so any comments alluding to “she’s just pissed her team lost” will be rightfully ignored, dismissed and mocked because you my friend, are stating the obvious.

Here is my list of the 10 most annoying/random observations from my friend Drew and I last night at AT&T Center:

10. Hootie! I loved seeing Hootie sing the national anthem, but having Blowfish there would have been icing on the cake.

9. Inside Secrets. It was very San Antonio of you to have a mariachi band play a timeout at center court, but from a newbie to this arena, I was confused why this marked the loudest Spurs fans got all night. Were they talking shit about LeBron in Spanish and I just wasn’t aware? As always, I’m confused.

taco cabana

Nothing says KISS CAM like melted cheese San Antonio

 

8. Taco Cabana Kiss Cam. Call me a hopeless romantic, but don’t most stadiums/arenas have a more fitting sponsor for the in-game kiss cam? In Houston, they have a dentist promising beautiful smiles. But this go round in San Antonio, y’all have the Texan Taco Bell equivalent. Nothing spells romance like melted cheese. (Actually, that does sound awesome…).

lasik

Text LASIK for a bad officiating call in the NBA Finals 2013=

7. Text LASIK To 45384. Was it just me, or was it an eerie coincidence this particular advertisement only came up when there was an officiating call that didn’t go San Antonio’s way? Me thinks good ole David Stern would not endorse this particular sponsorship.

6. My homeboy, Alonzo Mourning. This guy is the whole reason I became a Heat fan back in 1995, and he was in attendance looking mighty dapper. But Zo got shitty seats, about six rows up from the court. I realize it’s an away game, but it’s ALONZO MOURNING. What happened to that Southern hospitality?

5. Rick Fox is not a VIP. Among other notable things, this cat was married to the beautiful Vanessa Williams, but the 3x NBA Champ had to go through the common folk entrance in front of a bunch of intoxicated and obnoxious fans (myself included) – just felt weird.

4. 80’s Cover band dressed like the Spurs Silver Dancers. The after party and free concert, Overtime, just outside the arena, featured a free concert from the entertaining 80s hair band Metal Shop. Metal Shop coincidentally was dressed very much like the Spurs dance team, keeping the crowd pumped up after the big win.

san antonio

The Coyote, sans pants

3. The Coyote. Does anyone else not think it’s super creepy the mascot wasn’t wearing pants? If I walked around the arena in just a Spurs jersey and no pants, I’d be arrested. Or the fact he had more costume changes (sometimes wearing game shorts or leather chaps) than Mariah Carey on an episode of MTV Cribs? Or the fact he was using a tiny piece of notebook paper with the words “GET LOUD” barely legible in black ink? With his feeble attempt at poster board signs, puffy paint and construction paper as props, I’m scared to ask if a small child is missing half his science project somewhere around the San Antonio area. The only sign that was big enough to see had upside down words! And perhaps it’s important to note that only in Texas can someone dressed in costume stand in front of 18k+ people and shoot a gun into the crowd.

2. The Blackout that wasn’t. This was the worst blackout ever for multiple reasons. Even when the team gave 18k+ fans a FREE Spurs t-shirt on their seats before the game, only 1/3 actually wore the shirts (or anything black). Oh and by the way, did anyone realize it was Miami who wore black uniforms during your beloved blackout while the Spurs wore white? Was there some miscommunication there?

1. Chris Bosh. 

In all honestly, San Antonio dominated my home team last night and deserved to take the series 3-2. The fans were friendly and despite the loss and dismal play by Miami, it was a great atmosphere for any sports fan. As I mentioned to my friend Drew after the game, I proclaimed Miami is a much better team than San Antonio, to which he casually and intelligently replied, “that’s why it’s a 7-game series – whoever wins is the better team.”

To read this original article and The Blonde Side’s column on COED Magazine, click here.

June 17, 2013/by Jayme
https://theblondeside.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/att08900.jpg 304 405 Jayme https://theblondeside.com//wp-content/uploads/2018/06/1526998321020-300x192.png Jayme2013-06-17 13:33:272013-06-21 13:41:04A Disgruntled Heat Fan’s Observations From Game 5 in San Antonio
Jeremy Lin back in a Rockets uniform

Lin Star State

Basketball
Jeremy Lin back in a Rockets uniform

Jeremy Lin back in a Rockets uniform

HOUSTON — Linsanity officially ended at 11:59 p.m. ET on Tuesday.

At that moment, point guard Jeremy Lin became a member of the Rockets, perhaps transforming Texas into the Lin Star State. Or maybe the 6-foot-3 Asian American phenomenon will inspire the era of Linergy, in homage to the self-styled Energy Capital of the World.

To read the full article on Linsanity in Houston (otherwise soon known as Lin Star State), visit ESPN Playbook.

July 18, 2012/by Jayme
https://theblondeside.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/JeremyLin_HoustonRockets.jpg 360 640 Jayme https://theblondeside.com//wp-content/uploads/2018/06/1526998321020-300x192.png Jayme2012-07-18 16:07:172012-07-18 16:07:17Lin Star State

NBA Finals 2012 Preview

Basketball

2012 NBA Finals: Kevin Durant vs. LeBron James

For the NBA season that-almost-wasn’t coming to a close, David Stern could not have scripted a better matchup than the two best players in the league meeting for only the third time this season; putting it all on the line for the coveted Larry O’Brien Trophy.

None of the writers from any of the multiple Real Housewives series could have strategically set up a better finale: three-time MVP LeBron Raymone James taking on three-time scoring champ Kevin Wayne Durant.

The Heat are the two-time defending Eastern Conference champions back for revenge and bloody eyebrows after having to start this NBA season on Christmas Day watching the Dallas Mavericks banner raising ceremony in that other American Airlines branded facility. If that does not hurt worse than a Chris Bosh ab injury, I don’t know what does.

But which team has the edge here?

Click to read the full article on Bleacher Report.

June 12, 2012/by Jayme
https://theblondeside.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Durant-James-2012-NBA-Finals-2560x1440-Wallpaper-BasketWallpapers.com-1.jpg 1440 2560 Jayme https://theblondeside.com//wp-content/uploads/2018/06/1526998321020-300x192.png Jayme2012-06-12 12:03:072012-06-21 09:02:27NBA Finals 2012 Preview

New Orleans Jazz. Duh.

Basketball

Pistol Pete Maravich and the New Orleans Jazz

I usually confess my dumb blonde moments long before others have the chance to in an attempt to save face, but last week in New Orleans I did it again letting my “true” blonde shine.

Looking up at a t-shirt for sale I yelled out, “I love that shirt! Too bad it’s not sports related.” The shirt had the Jazz logo on it and said New Orleans, making me believe it was a play on the town of Jazz, but I couldn’t quite figure out how NBA licensing had allowed such a shirt to be made and sold. I was with my friend Joe from National Football Post and unknowingly he responded, “How is an old school NBA New Orleans Jazz t-shirt not sports related?”

As the “highly coveted sportswriter” I’ve become over the years, even I had no idea the Jazz (currently Utah Jazz) originated from New Orleans. Just as soon as the realization hit me, I wanted to belt out a big fat Homer Simpson style DUH.

My earliest recollections of the Jazz were from the eighties and nineties when Karl Malone and John Stockton ruled the purple jerseys in The Mormon State. And how dumb do I feel because for a team to be named The Jazz, of-freaking-course they started in New Orleans, the city synonymous with Jazz music. Duh again blondie. That’s like saying you’ve watched Grey’s Anatomy for years and never realized the show was named after Meredith Grey, the main character (and narrator). Those are just the kinds of things people should know. As a caveat, the team only lasted in New Orleans five years, all before my time, so I should be granted some level of acceptance. So for the other “dumb blondes” out there, I did some research on the origin of the team and some random facts you can throw around at dinner parties. Or bars. You can thank me later.

My "new vintage" New Orleans T-shirt with Joe Fortenbaugh

  • In 1974 New Orleans officially became the 18th team of the NBA (the expansion franchise cost $6.15 million). As with many sports teams, a contest was held to name the expansion team. Over 6,500 names were submitted and eight semi-finalists were selected (that really told the story of the city): Jazz, Dukes, Crescents, Pilots, Cajuns, Blues, Deltas, and Knights. Steve Brown, a 27-year old self-proclaimed “Jazz freak” was the winner who ended up naming the team.
  • The name Jazz was selected due to its definition “collective improvisation.”
  • 1974 was not the first time a professional basketball team had called New Orleans home. From 1967-70, there was an ABA team called the Buccaneers.
  • The Jazz only won six of their first 50 games in their first season in NOLA and finished with the worst record in NBA (23-59).
  • The team only stayed in New Orleans, the city synonymous with Jazz & Mardi Gras for five short years (1974-79) before being shipped off to Utah. While it’s not unusual for new cities to change the team name (i.e. Seattle SuperSonics now being the OKC Thunder), Utah decided to keep the name and embrace all the qualities the team had become known for.
  • The Jazz (both cities) have retired five uniform numbers: #1 Frank Layden, #7 Pete Maravich, #14 Jeff Hornacek, #35 Darrell Griffith and #53 Mark Eaton
  • After the Jazz headed to Utah, the city of New Orleans would occasionally host Atlanta Hawks games, but the real desire to get basketball back into their city came from the Final Four. The Superdome hosted the 1982 Final Four, the same Final Four where Michael Jordan, a then freshman, nailed the game winning shot as North Carolina won the Championship. New Orleans also hosted the Final Four in 1987 and again in 1993. It wasn’t again until 2002 that New Orleans could once again called itself an NBA home when the Hornets moved from Charlotte into a brand new arena. (Again, there was debate about a name change or trying to bring the name Jazz back to its city of origin, but the name remained as the New Orleans Hornets.)
  • Worst season record for the Jazz franchise came in 1974-75: 23-59 (.280) – New Orleans
  • Best season record for the Jazz franchise came in 1996-97: 64-18 (.780) – Utah

Marketing Guide For The Jazz Logo

As a former brain at an ad agency, I find the progression of the logo and team colors particularly interesting.

1974-79  New Orleans Jazz | Colors: Purple, Green, Gold (these started as the main colors as they represented Mardi Gras)

1979-96 Utah Jazz | Colors: Purple, Green, Gold

1996-04 Utah Jazz | Colors: Purple, Teal, Light Blue, Copper, Black

2004-10 Utah Jazz | Colors: Navy, Powder Blue, Purple, Silver

2010-Present Utah Jazz | Navy, Dark Yellow, Dark Green, Gray

Want more random facts and followings? Follow The Blonde Side on Twitter @jaymelamm

April 2, 2012/by Jayme
https://theblondeside.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Pistol-Pete-Maravich-Playing-For-The-New-Orleans-Jazz.jpg 240 350 Jayme https://theblondeside.com//wp-content/uploads/2018/06/1526998321020-300x192.png Jayme2012-04-02 00:37:092012-06-21 08:58:45New Orleans Jazz. Duh.

A Day In The Life Of An NBA Mascot

Basketball

Clutch is more than a furry cheerleader with hilarious non-verbal antics parading around the Toyota Center. Having shadowed the Houston Rockets mascots at a recent game, I’m not sure anyone is more excited to see the NBA back in action than Clutch himself.

With the Rockets riding a seven-game winning streak going into Wednesday night’s home game against the Milwaukee Bucks, there’s more reason to be excited than many people probably thought as well.

During those tumultuous NBA Lockout talks, people were concerned about the players. Then came growing concern for the dance teams, the athletic trainers, the customer service staff and the food vendors. Those part-time folks that relied on that extra income to pay bills became another concern.

With sweat dripping down his face, Boudwin (who can now talk because he’s not near any of the fans) huffs and puffs, “Man, I missed this.”

But did anyone stop to think about the mascots who are just as much a part of basketball as David Stern himself?

Clutch (or Robert Boudwin, the excited human inside) is a full-time front office employee with the Houston Rockets, as is his “Mascot Coordinator” Dominic Davila, who wears “Rocketman” on the back of his silver suit — the silver suit that accompanies Clutch almost anywhere inside and outside the Toyota Center.

A day in the life of an NBA mascot:

– Clutch and crew arrive to the Toyota Center at least two hours before the game. (For the sold-out crowd on opening night, they got there four hours early to rehearse the season’s new skits. The skit Clutch was most pumped about was set to the tune of Aerosmith’s “Back in the Saddle.”)

Remember, Clutch is a full-time Rockets employee, so on game days, he walks from his upstairs office down to his personal dressing room on floor level which makes for an extremely long day.

– About an hour before tipoff, Clutch hops on his Segway, zips around the concourse high-fiving vivacious fans and then heads outside to the Budweiser Lift-Off pregame concert for photo-ops and a dance party. After a few minutes of pictures, he hops on stage, grabs a microphone, does a jig or two and then his “handlers” forcefully encourage him to get back on his ride and head up to the Memorial Hermann Sky Court, because they too have a game clock to abide by.

– Clutch heads back into the Toyota Center with his crew guiding him the entire way. “Clutch, duck your head,” they yell as he gets into a private service elevator. “Clutch, turn left and look down,” they call out so he’ll notice the little kid below him trying desperately for a high-five.

Boudwin’s crew serves as his eyes and ears while he’s suited up — not to mention his voice. The most important rule as a mascot — NO TALKING WHILE IN THE SUIT.

Clutch relies on his nonverbals (ferociously waving, shaking his midsection, jumping up and down) to show fans his excitement and feelings. But when it’s needed (and I assure you, it is), Dominic, his coordinator for the past 11 years, speaks for him.

“Sorry kids, Clutch has to keep going,” or “Watch out guys, Clutch is coming through,” he yells to keep Clutch on his already tight schedule. Somehow Clutch still manages to find time to get in the face of an opposing team’s fan while Rockets fans laugh and capture it all on their iPhones.

– Pulling up to the sky court, there is already a line of fans of all ages, eagerly waiting. For the next 15 minutes, Clutch’s big furry hand autographs mini-sized posters and stops long enough for fans to take a photo. (Note: his handlers have to hand the poster to the fans, because Clutch’s hands are too big and clumsy to grab that flimsy piece of glossy paper.)

– Clutch makes his graceful exit (literally oblivious to all the fans trying to pull him from all directions for their own family photo) and heads down to his personal dressing room, which sits directly across from the Rockets team locker room. Finally, he gets to take his head off.

With sweat dripping down his face, Boudwin (who can now talk because he’s not near any of the fans) huffs and puffs, “Man, I missed this.” While in his room, he chugs two bottles of water, and changes the sopping wet Dri-Fit shirt he wears under his costume (he sweats through at least seven each game).

Because of how hot it gets in the suit, Clutch is supposed to take a break (with water and sans bear head) every 15 minutes. Sometimes he gets so into the crowd, he forgets how long he’s been out there and his team has to literally drag him behind the black curtains on the side of the court.

– Behind the curtain, Clutch is once again gasping for air. His arms are tired from holding up the bulky and awkwardly shaped 8’ x 4’ x 4’ box sign, which weighs exactly 40 pounds (the largest in sports) over his head multiple times while simultaneously leading the crowd in chants. Again, he changes his sweat-laden shirt right there in the confines of the hallway.

Meanwhile Mini-Clutch (also sweating and panting) hands a pink Starburst to his coordinator, who instinctively knew to unwrap it for him because his bear hands made it impossible. The pair heads back out to flirt with the Rockets Power Dancers.

– Back in his dressing room, Clutch and crew review their pre-printed schedule of events and appearances. As he gets ready for a seat visit to a fan in section 125, he’s checking his can of Silly String to make sure it’s got plenty of ammo. The whole crew heads over to the seats and for a solid 55 seconds, Clutch douses the diehard Rockets fan in pink and blue Silly String.

Meanwhile Mini-Clutch is on the concourse taking photos. A nearby woman asks Clutch to hold her baby for a photo (surprisingly the tiny baby doesn’t even cry) and Clutch nonchalantly walks away with the baby.

When Clutch finally returns the baby, fans are lined up waiting for their own photos to immediately upload to Facebook.

– During this whole charade, Clutch’s bulky arms accidentally spill a fan’s popcorn. Because of the major lack of peripheral visibility from the costume head, Clutch has no idea. Back in the dressing room one of the coordinators tells Clutch (who at this point has morphed back into Robert) that she looked displeased.

“Please take two hats, two T-shirts and a new box of popcorn to her and give her a big fat I’m sorry,” Boudwin says genuinely.

– A few minutes later, another timeout is called and Clutch is once again snapping his red Rockets uniform over his furry arms, putting his head on, and heading back out on the court. My all-time favorite Clutch move is when he strips off his jersey directly in the line of view of San Antonio Spurs point guard Tony Parker who is trying to sink two free throws.

Clutch is left wearing nothing but his ginormous shoes (size 22 BB for double bear) and then once again scurries behind the curtain (while Dominic literally picks up the pieces).

Just from the play-by-play listed above, you can see Clutch is a busy man. Um, bear.

If you’ve ever wondered why he doesn’t stay in one place too long, it’s because fans will bombard him and he’ll never make it to another section or back on the court for his scheduled skits. Plus, fans will miss out on the improv nonsense.

Mascots have rules too. Here are just a few:

– Signs behind the basket during opposing team free throws cannot be larger than 17” x 11”.

– Mascots may not walk directly adjacent to the court (courtside) during play

– Mascots may not target or ridicule a specific player from an opposing team

– The use of pyrotechnic is prohibited once the game has begun and can only be used pregame with prior written league permission

After following Clutch around for an entire game, I’m not sure who gets more of a run in — the Rockets starting five or the bear and his crew.

Introducing the Clutch Crew:

Robert Boudwin — Clutch, in his 17th season.

Dominic Davila — Full time assistant/sidekick/manager/agent/bodyguard/secretary/translator/right arm (as quoted by Clutch)

Michael Gonzales — Clutch Crew on game nights

Michael Trussel — Clutch Crew on game nights

Brandon (Tuff) Schoenberg — Mini-Clutch

This article was featured on Culture Map, Houston’s Daily Digital Magazine in the sport’s section.

January 25, 2012/by Jayme
https://theblondeside.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Clutch_refes.525w_700h.jpg 700 525 Jayme https://theblondeside.com//wp-content/uploads/2018/06/1526998321020-300x192.png Jayme2012-01-25 12:23:102012-01-31 12:28:48A Day In The Life Of An NBA Mascot

Shane Battier Misses Houston

Basketball

On Feb. 24, 2011, Houston lost a piece of its soul. Not just in the local sports world, but in the community as well.

In a moment of reverse déjà vu, Shane Battier was traded back to the Memphis Grizzlies — the same team Houston acquired him in exchange for Stromile Swift and the draft rights to Rudy Gay back in 2006.

For the first time in five years, the Houston Rockets will hold a home opener without Battier Thursday night. Battier has moved again, leaving Memphis for Miami where he’ll chase a title as a sidekick to the championship favorite superstar trio of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. The Heat are already 3-0 as the 0-1 Rockets take the Toyota Center court for the first time this season to face San Antonio with Houston just hoping to make the playoffs for the first time in three years.

I’m not sure anyone could have imagined the impact the 6-foot-8 forward from Duke would have had on one of the biggest cities in the country, or conversely the impact that city would have had on him and his family.

Battier was a stronghold with the Rockets, starting all but seven games during his four and a half seasons. He played a key role in 2008 when the Rockets recorded the second-longest consecutive wins streak (22) in NBA history, spending the most time of any player on the court during that impressive streak (according to Michael Lewis’ often-referenced New York Times article, “The No-Stats All-Star”).

Battier logged 11,910 playing minutes and scored a total of 3,052 points during his tenure with the Rockets. His heart and soul on the court, his defensive hustle and never give up attitude are just a handful of reasons Rockets fans everywhere fell in love with the guy.

And that’s just on the court.

More Than a Baller

Photo Courtesy of NYTimes.com

Sporting News didn’t name Battier the seventh smartest athlete in sports for nothing. Battier has made a career out of being smart both on and off the court and finding a way to connect with his team and fans on more than just a professional and athletic level.

“You hope to make a connection with the community that you are a part of. I was proud of my five years in Houston, it was an amazing ride. So many great relationships were started and I am proud that I had an impact in my years in Houston,” Battier wrote in an email interview.

Off the court, the guy loves Houston just as much as Houston loves (and misses) him. Battier and his wife Heidi were sad to leave Houston and sell their Southampton house, which they refer to as their “favorite.” The couple also misses all the amazing meals they’ve shared over the years at two Montrose hot spots — Da Marco and Dolce Vita.

Aside from his court smarts, one of the reasons Houston fans adored Battier was his laid-back nature — not afraid to sign autographs out and about, and certainly not afraid to sing a tune or two at Christian’s Tailgate on karaoke night.

“I will karaoke anytime, anywhere. My Way by Sinatra is just my bag,” he wrote. “One of the worst parts of being traded to Memphis mid year last year was cancelling our Clutch City Karaoke event in Houston to benefit The Battier Take Charge Foundation.

“I’d like to think that I am not that different from any other family man. I go to work (conditioning, shooting drills, lifting weights) and come home to hang out with my family, clean up after dinner, put the kids to bed and crack a Bud Light. Pretty standard really.”

(Coincidentally or not, Bud Light just so happens to be the best selling beer in Texas. Presumably another reason Shane misses H-Town?)

Even though it’s been half a season since Battier left, lifelong Rockets fan, Justin Capetillo, still misses seeing him on the court. “I miss his hustle and heart,” Capetillo said. “He was the ideal ‘team’ player, and any team is lucky to have his leadership. I don’t really like the Heat, but hope Battier finally gets his ring.”

Native Houstonian Dan Kuehn feels the same way. “I miss his gritty play and his witty interviews,” Kuehn said. “He plays the game with heart, brains, and passion. No one can argue that.”

And it’s not just the fans that miss him. The lovable, huggable Clutch mascot shared his sentiments on No. 31 saying, “Shane was one of my favorite players from my 17 years with the Rockets. He’s a standup guy — both on and off the court. He exemplified professional basketball at its finest. I miss him dearly.”

Speaking of his new team, when I asked Shane how he felt about his old teammates (who he’ll play April 22 in Miami), his response was simple, “I will be excited to play my guys on the Rockets. It will be strange but they will want to beat me as much as I want to beat them. For pride.

“If they brought me some fajitas from Lupe Tortilla or El Tiempo I’d be a happy man.”

Duly noted Shane, duly noted.

This article was featured on Culture Map, Houston’s Daily Digital Magazine in the sport’s section.

This was also part of The Blonde Side’s 30 Before 30 series.

January 1, 2012/by Jayme
https://theblondeside.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/15battier.1-190.jpg 230 190 Jayme https://theblondeside.com//wp-content/uploads/2018/06/1526998321020-300x192.png Jayme2012-01-01 11:40:302012-01-01 11:42:07Shane Battier Misses Houston

No Time To Celebrate Last Year’s Successes

Basketball

With 48 seconds left on the pregame clock before the Mavs’ season opener, the Miami Heat scurried off the court into the dark quarters of the visiting locker room. On the court, however, the Mavs and their fans celebrated something they’ve waited 31 long-suffering years for – the raising of a NBA Championship banner to proudly hang at American Airlines Center.

What better way for Mavs fans to celebrate Christmas than with the finest gift the NBA offers – the championship banner, which even came wrapped in black cloth like a regular ol’ Christmas present. The historical ceremony was chock full of last season’s highlights including dunks from Dirk, multiple fadeaways against none other than Miami’s big three, more dunks from Dirk, Jason Kidd getting fouled in the paint and more violent dunks from Dirk over LeBron’s head-banded head. With every memorable basket the crowd grew louder and louder with uncontrollable passion.

After the game, the media questioned Coach Spoelstra on his team’s absence on the court during the ceremonious banner raising. The media has been buzzing with rumors on how the big three, especially former finals MVP Dwyane Wade would feel during the ceremony having been on the other side; the literal other side when the Heat beat the Mavs back in the 2006 finals. “We did it out of respect. Other teams do that when we retire jerseys – it’s their moment. That’s a good storyline, but we did it out of respect, no other reason,” Spoelstra said in response to the media’s bait.

But it wasn’t LeBron who got the biggest boos of the day; no, those were reserved for none other than Commissioner David Stern. Every single fan clad in Mavs blue directed their audible criticisms at The Commish – all while the poor guy was congratulating the hometown champs and their city on last year’s prodigious victory. Knowing his recent standings with fans, he kept his approbatory speech short and sweet – less than 53 seconds of talk time from the man many hold solely responsible for the shortened season (now a 66 game season versus the customary 82). Stern quickly handed the microphone over to Jason Terry and the sold-out crowd once again erupted with triumph.

But not for long. As soon as the banner reached the top of the JumboTron, fans ran out of things to celebrate. The only time the Mavs actually led the Heat was when Chris Bosh muffed up yet another tipoff. Shortly after, the celebrations for the hometown team quieted down only to pique once more for the standing ovation they gave Lamar Odom as he entered the game in the first quarter. Rightly so, because just seconds after, he drained his first shot in a Mavs uniform, sinking a three-pointer from behind the arch. Fans went wild. Probably more so for Khlomar, but wild, nonetheless.

Heading into the game, the Mavs were the only active team undefeated on Christmas day (2-0), but the Heat came to play with a lot to prove. As one member of the media commented outside their locker room, “they [Heat] played angry.” And not just because their last game was a loss on their own home court, which cost them their very own championship banner in “South Beach,” but the last time the Heat beat the Mavericks in the regular season was March 26, 2004. That’s a whole lot of love lost for the two teams.

These two teams have had a lot of back in forth in the way of stats. Eight of the last 10 defending champs have followed their championship season with a season-opening victory the next year. The last team to lose a season-opener after winning it all? You guessed it – the Miami Heat. On June 12, 2011 when the Mavs secured their first NBA title in franchise history, they beat the Heat on the road 105 – 95. Yesterday afternoon, Miami virtually reversed those numbers winning 105-94.

As a highly publicized finals rematch, there wasn’t much for the Mavs to celebrate or look at, unless you counted the pretty new banner. While it’s only the first game of the season, fans are hoping they are left with much more than a ticket stub and replica championship banner to hang in their homes and offices. With the abbreviated season already in motion, the Mavs don’t have the luxury of sitting around and applauding themselves on last year’s success – it’s time to play ball like the champions they are.

While the Mavs certainly had something to celebrate before the game, it became clear after the game they have more work than celebration ahead of them. Lets hope they bring the A-game that Dallas fans have become accustomed to sooner rather than later.  Game two saw a similar result against the Denver Nuggets. Their third attempt to get it straightened out is tonight in Oklahoma City – It doesn’t get any easier.

This article was featured on Scoreboard Daily, a comprehensive sport’s publication in Dallas/Fort Worth.

December 29, 2011/by Jayme
https://theblondeside.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/2011NBA_HeatMavericksFinalsPrediction_btb_main.jpg 297 643 Jayme https://theblondeside.com//wp-content/uploads/2018/06/1526998321020-300x192.png Jayme2011-12-29 22:47:422011-12-29 22:51:47No Time To Celebrate Last Year’s Successes

America’s Next Top Mascot

Basketball

Even from a Houston sports non-traditionalist like myself, I have to admit Clutch is one of the best mascots in the NBA. Hands down. Possibly even in all of sports. Yes, I said it.

If there were such a thing as mascot camp, Clutch would surely be the leader, right? Right.

In it’s second year of mascot camp, the Rockets are still the only NBA team to put on such a camp. While other kids are busy frolicking at music camp or fat camp, twenty of the most energetic middle school, high school and even a few college kids are hanging out with Clutch to learn how to be the best. Without saying a word.

The improv sessions and tips shared at mascot camp were so invaluable, furry and scaly animals from all over Texas and beyond came out. Even Oklahoma native, Sam “The Husky” Davis who is only a junior high student at Sequoyah but is so good at mascotting, he’s the Edmond North High School mascot. (Note – I’m not even sure if mascot can be turned into a verb, such as mascotting, but after witnessing this camp, I’m a proponent for it.) At only thirteen-years old, Sam has been a mascot for four years and is well on his way to anonymous stardom.

Robert Boudwin, or “Clutch the Bear” (which we shall use interchangeably from here on out) has been a mascot for over twenty years and is going into his 17th season as Clutch. Seventeen seasons in a sport is tough. For anyone. Think about it. Not many athletes last that long. Definitely not many front office staff either. And if you don’t think Clutch is an athlete or part of the Houston Rockets front office, you surely are mistaken.

Having witnessed just a 15-minute performance for the campers in an air-conditioned conference room inside the Toyota Center, I can personally vouch that Robert sweats more than Kobe, Shaq and the head of Sam Cassell combined.

If you think he’s not part of the front office, then you’re crazier than one of these animated mascots. At over 9-feet tall, Clutch is a living, breathing billboard and an extension of the Rocketball brand. As Robert pointed out during camp, the ball is in play for 48 minutes, but fans are in their seats for over two and a half hours. That’s 150 minutes chockfull of Clutch antics of dancing, cakes-in-face, stripping down to his skivvies and whatever else the loveable, huggable mammal conjures up.

Even schools like University of Houston – Downtown see the value in Clutch’s camp sending their Gator, Donte Lewis, to learn from Clutch. “They want me to learn to be more interactive, like Clutch,” Donte said. Blake Bjostad and Jake Hansen made the 500-mile roundtrip trek from Allen, TX with their teacher to learn from Clutch. Jake and Blake were the only inflatable mascots (“Big Boy” the Eagle) at camp wowing the group with their signature headstand. Last year, aspiring mascot Ryan came out sans costume to learn the peculiarities of mascotting. After gaining skill and confidence from camp, Ryan happily returned this year as the Cy-Fair Bobcat with costume in hand.

My favorite part of mascot camp was watching the mascoters dress up in their own costumes and take cues from Clutch on the sideline. He’d yell prompts like, “show me elated, you’re on fire, confident” for the mascots to act out.

Here are a few noteworthy performances:
Clutch’s cue: Show me dead.
Sarah Alcoser (aka “Kitty the Bulldog” from John H. Reagan)’s reaction: turns mascot head around
Clutch’s cue (to a female mascot): You’re the man!
Female mascot’s reaction: grabs crotch area
Clutch’s cue: Show me you have to go to the bathroom. Number 1. But don’t grab yourself.
Four mascot’s reactions: not a thing
Clutch’s cue: You just got a phone call. It’s your mother.
Mascot: hangs up phone.

I promised Clutch I wouldn’t reveal all his trade secrets, but here are some key components to being a successful, well-rounded mascot I learned at camp:

– Learn the difference between creepy and aggressive (I can imagine this is a key differentiator to being successful at your gig).

– Find a good balance of your skits and innuendos as a mascot. It’s difficult to make the masses (adults and kids alike) laugh at one skit, but think more like Homer Simpson, not Peter Griffin.

– Don’t wave like a normal person, wave like a cartoon character with your entire body. The costumes absorb motion so every move you make should be exaggerated. If Clutch goes to shake his tail feather, you won’t see anything with that robust costume, so he grabs his hips or his backside for fans to see.

– Like Big Brother, someone is always watching the mascot. With over 18,000 seats in the Toyota Center, Clutch ensures even his break time is part of the game.

– Never let the audience see you partially dressed in costume. “Think of yourself like Superman. You’re either all Clark Kent or all Superman. Never a partial variation of either,” Clutch explains.

– Don’t make refs the butt of your joke. Ever. (Especially not the overplayed Three Blind Mice piece.)

– My personal favorite – “If your character has a tail, make sure that’s all it’s used for.”

That’s a wrap on mascot camp. As Clutch would say, “Good work. Everyone can take their heads off now.”

This article was featured on Culture Map, Houston’s Daily Digital Magazine in the sport’s section.

August 5, 2011/by Jayme
https://theblondeside.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/mascotheads1.jpg 600 800 Jayme https://theblondeside.com//wp-content/uploads/2018/06/1526998321020-300x192.png Jayme2011-08-05 22:03:542011-08-05 22:05:52America’s Next Top Mascot

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